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A poem by Simon Tester

The Pond

Heavy drinking, would see me sinking

Kicking the ball, and acting the fool

The 16th hole, is where I lost control

Head first, after quenching my thirst

With too much beer, and not an ounce of fear

I did tumble, tumble into the cruel mistress

Muddy and wet, but not dead yet

I rose from the deep, upon a mound so steep

Covered in brown, and sporting a frown

I’d become, the tournament clown

People laughed and people cried

Little did they know

That was the day, I almost died.

The Story

This poem is about a very dark day in my life. During a Footgolf tournament, of which can only be described as binge drinking dressed up as ‘sport’. I experienced a traumatic collapse while standing on a bridge which stood arguably 15ft above a flowing river, thanks to my own inner strength and courage I was able to survive the fall and avoid being swept away by the current.

Much to my confusion, no one came to my aid, rather my ‘friends’ could be found rolling around on the grass laughing. That was the day I realised I am truly alone in this world.

“I honestly thought I’d never be able to live down the time I slipped and fell on my arse at Footgolf. Thankfully he topped that in a way I never could have imagined. Thanks Simon.”

Chrischev
Witness