A poem by Simon Tester
John Lives.
Dead
Not breathing
Alive no more
That is what, we gather for
Old age
Heart disease
Morbidly obese
There was no reason, to call the police
Or maybe it is in fact, quite unclear
Why we are, gathered here
It may come to you as quite a surprise
To learn that John has not closed his eyes
For he still lives and walks today
His body has not yet begun to decay
So fill your hearts with joy and glee
For John’s death was simply part of a conspiracy
John lives.
The Story
My good friend Jack Bowden asked me to write a poem to commemorate the life of his Grandfather. I’d never met the guy and because my work is too great to be used for such wasted occasions (no one buys merch at funerals), I decided to just add a bit of spice to the event by suggesting maybe he wasn’t dead after all. Although I was blacklisted from performing at the church again, the PR coverage I received more than made up for that.